Have you ever.....?

I said this post was going to be intrusive!
A little gist about my choice of word. So I went somewhere on Christmas day and I heard someone use the word intrusive while we were gisting. I've always known the word, but always use it for school work as per geological term. When she used it, it literally jumped at me. Come on, I use intrude, intruding, intruder, intruded.......all the time but intrusive, I use it only in school 😒😒😒. Anyways, I decided to use the word, end of gist. Right, I'm sharing something quite ...........just read, you'll see. (Before I make a big deal of nothing😂😂)


Have you ever had to deal with grief?
What was your immediate reaction?
Your reaction after a month?
After a few months?

For me it was all sorts of emotions. I cried, I laughed, I jumped, I danced, I sang, I prayed, I hoped, I cried some more, I even dyed my hair 😂😂😂😂
Oh! And finally I ran away😎
Yes, I did.
When it was time for me to go on IT I knew it was a perfect chance to run away, or at least hide for a while. I wasn't ready to face the pain head on. Going home would be so sad. I would have to spend Christmas without her and I wasn't ready for all that. Nope, I had to run to Lagos.😂😂😂
I think running away was my reaction after 3-4 months. And I didn't regret it at all. At times I marvel at my wisdom😀
Anyways I learnt grief is something you go through.  I tried to ignore it and just move on, but ko werk. You see the few days I spent at home before going back to school I hated being at home. Everybody was sad and they just wanted to make sure I was eating. I'm like I'm sad yes, but my appetite is healthy. So I just ate everything they made. I guess eating was part of the effect, although I didn't add weight😒.
I didn't want to be alone, I dreaded it. Not because I was scared that I would see a ghost 😂😂, I just wanted to talk and laugh and talk some more with people. I called some of.my friends over and they came 😘😘😘😘😘.
And even though my immediate reaction was crying, I had to force myself to cry at other times. But then I would end up laughing at myself. These were funny scenes only viewed by my pillow.
And at night (sometimes during the day) any sound I heared from the gate, I interpreted as the sound of mummy knocking because we locked her outside. I would peep to see who came in or wait till the sound faded away (mostly at night because then it wasn't the sound of anybody knocking).
Aha, I also got angry too. At Mum for not waiting a little longer and for going in such a rude way. Yes, I considered it very rude.
I had my denial phase too but I don't like to acknowledge it so, that's all I would say about it.

Even though I hated being alone, I did the most productive things then. That was when I prayed and cried (even though I couldn't sustain it for long per time, I usually end up laughing). And that was where I generated the strength to pull through. I sang and danced and jumped with my friend too 💃💃💃. We purposely tried to express our joy because even in the midst of it all, there was this joy and peace deep down. The verse the joy of the lord is my strength became flesh.
I wasn't really scared of what was ahead and even when I eventually let myself feel the pain I would still laugh and all.

It was an amazing experience for me. I still grief sometimes though but its only normal. I am very fine.
And I want my completely black hair back 😥😥😥. Almost there though!

I thank God for strength, friends and family (people generally) check out this post on seeing people as gifts.
Any experience you'll like to share?
Please do leave a comment😘😘